Classic Ways To Show People You’re For Sure Straight. (Flex Bro!)

(Rex Ronald) Flex Bro Column

Make sure everyone knows you love pussy. Talk about getting pussy all the time. If you don’t talk about pussy frequently people may start to think you’re batting for the other team.

Leave some straight porn up on your computer so someone might “accidently catch you”. Now they know exactly the kind of sex like. For some people your computer is a gateway into your private life so if they see some hot ass-pussy on the screen they know you’re a dude’s dude.

Never joke about being gay. Some people aren’t that smart and don’t get jokes, so if you don’t make self deprecating gay jokes they’ll never confuse you for a homo.

If someone calls you gay, even if they’re joking , immediately beat the shit out of them. One day this will probably be a hate crime but if some guy even suggests you’re gay knock his teeth down his throat. That will get a buzz about you going around and you won’t have to worry because you’ve set the record straight- just like you.

Open Carry Everywhere. All Gays are liberals and therefore hate guns. If you’re carrying a gun they’ll know not to even think about soliciting you for sex or you’ll put some rounds into them.

Don’t eat penis shaped foods. Bananas are a no no. Don’t even pick them up in public or some queer might think you want to grab his “banana”.  Disgusting.  I’ve never eaten a Twinkie and I let people know I hate anything with “twink” in the name. I don’t know what twink means but I know it sounds like something gay. Also no Hot Dogs unless you’re at a sporting match. Its okay to eat a hot dog at a game because only straight guys watch sports and no gay man would ever go to the ballpark.

Never go into a small bathroom with another man. Sometimes this is unavoidable. If that’s the case Always lock the door or use the stall. If you use the urinal some homo might look at your dick. Silly f****t, dicks are for chicks.

After getting your pump on- shower at home. Can you even believe that some guys can shower together in a locker room? I won’t even go in a public locker room because I might see some guy’s butt. It sucks carrying my stuff around the gym but if you get naked around other guys what kind of message are you sending? I work out hard for this body so that chicks can play with it. What happens if one of the guys in the locker room is gay and can’t control themselves? That happens all the time with straight guys or else why would there be so many girls reporting rapes? You can’t just put something on display and expect us human animals not to react to it. Think about it- gays have even less control than normal men cause they’re weaker. Do you want to risk it? Not me. Not ever. I don’t even want to think about it.

Make sure to use lots of gay slurs. This lets people know you think gays are disgusting and that you’re better than them. If you use them frequently people will know where you stand because you’ve drawn a good hard straight line and are firmly standing with all of the other real men just like you.

Well that’s it for now. Hopefully you can start using all of these and you’ll start to see the effects immediately.Don’t forget to flex bro!