Local Politician Vows To Solve Drug Crisis By Doing All The Drugs Himself


State Senator Bob Tipton has vowed to end the drug crisis in his area the only way he knows how- by doing all the drugs himself.

Tipton who doesn’t want drugs to be on the streets says he’ll swallow, shoot or snort any drugs he can to prevent those drugs from getting in the hands of children. “Once all the drugs from this area are gone I will then work on solving the drug crisis on the national level,” Tipton says selflessly. Tipton says that he doesn’t mind this sacrifice because the drugs help him think better. “If it weren’t for drugs, I don’t know if I could have helped come up with other policies,” Tipton said. Tipton plans to spend his weekend taking horse tranquilizers to keep jockies safe from them.