Conspiracy Theorists Startled By Government Forcing Reynolds’s To Change Foil Wrap Formula

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In a move
that has conspiracy theorists everywhere gravely concerned, notable tin foil
producer Reynolds’s Wrap has been forced to change the way they produce their
signature product- foil wrap. 

The foil wrap which is known to be a dependable
cover for baking sheets and used in various other cooking applications has been
noted for its ability to disrupt transmissions that carry mind control radio
waves and enable mind reading. The recent formula has many conspiracy theorists
concerned as they have long considered
Reynolds’s wrap as the dependable go-to for all brain transmission
blocking since Reynolds’s introduced it to do just that under the vise of
a  providing a no-mess, disposable
kitchen product. A local conspiracy theorist who wished to be referred to only
as “Anaconda 8” stated that he now has the product on a very short list of
things he trusts less than the government, which forced the change. According
to his friends that is a very short list. Anaconda 8 has assured TRN that he
has found a suitable substitute generic brand which he would not disclose for
fear the government would change it too. When told that the replacement generic
brand is produced in the same factory to the same specifications as the
original product Anaconda 8 explained that’s exactly what the government wants
people to think.