NRA Calling For Larger Daily Mass Killings To Normalize Their Occurrence

The NRA has grown tired of seeing all of the gun violence in the news and has decided to approach the coverage of gun-control with a new approach: more shootings with higher body counts. The NRA is calling for members to pledge a number of people to shoot and for the members to go out and shoot that many people in hopes that if body counts amass in large enough quantities the news will get bored of reporting the small daily shootings that happen everywhere only in America. An NRA spokesman says that at some point the large scale massacres could stop once the news has decided that people are bored of “sensational” reporting about gun deaths. The spokesman stated “This way the baseline of only a few shooting deaths a day seems normal by comparison so if we go out and have some shootings that make the Paris thing look like a small deal we’re pretty sure the average 31 Americans killed by guns daily would slip by unnoticed. And we’ll sell more guns.” The NRA says that these attacks will hopefully begin soon.